Aaron's space: Random Thoughts

Losing our joy?

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:13:21 GMT

A couple weeks ago ESPN has their yearly fundraiser for the V Foundation. During which they replay Jimmy Valvano's acceptance speech from March 4, 1993 ESPY's (transcript and video) where he accepted the inaugural Arthur Ashe Courage Award and announce the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research (he passed April 28, 1993 from cancer).

In his speech he said "To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."

We certainly know the saying "Laughter is the Best Medicine" and it has even been researched. However I was thinking about that and I was trying to remember the last time I really, truly laughed, or even heard another adult really laugh? You know what I mean...lost it with tears or milk through the nose or something like that. Certainly I type and see others type LOL in twitter, IM, email, etc. but to be honest we don't really Laugh Out Loud, it might be a smile or chuckle or a smirk or even an occasional "Ha" (like when I saw Joker's disappearing pencil trick :)). I'm not saying we're depressed or aren't enjoying our lives, jobs, families, but there's a different between a smirk and an all out guffaw. Perhaps it's just that the humor today is either sexual, predictable or so dry it borders on sarcasm. Or perhaps we're just becoming too serious/jaded. Or maybe it's just me.

So when was the last time you really, truly laughed? Heck when was the last time you even saw someone smiling in their car?

My father

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:49:47 GMT

I just got back in the office today. I was expecting to have a really great time last week, I was scheduled to be in Minnesota (Magenic's home office) and I was supposed to be presenting a webinar entitled "Make Better Decisions With Your Data". Instead I ended up spending most of the week in Springfield, IL.

Friday night I finally got the call I had been half expecting for years, however that did little to blunt the shock of it. My wife and 3 of our kids had just gone to Target and were actually standing in the Dairy Queen line to get some ice cream. My eldest was with our church's youth group. My mom called and said that my father had passed. He was 56. Saturday (May 31) I wrote my father's obituary:

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Zeke "Timothy" Lowe, 56 of Springfield, IL passed away the evening of Friday, May 30, 2008 at St. John's Hospital.

He was born October 4, 1951 in Lincoln, NE, the son of Cecil and Arva Lowe. He married Linda Schackmann on June 5, 1971.

He was preceded in death by his father, Cecil Lowe and is survived by his mother, Arva Lowe; brothers, Mike (wife: Jan) Lowe, Clinton (wife: Linda) Lowe; sister, Marsha Robinson, all of Lincoln, NE; wife, Linda; daughter, Kari (husband: Ted) Oliver both of Springfield, IL; son, Aaron (wife: Kim) Lowe of Bartlett, IL; and seven grandchildren.

Zeke was living retired after 23 years of ministry dedicated to rescue missions in Lincoln, NE and Youngstown, OH. No services will be held. Staab Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.

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My father had Type I diabetes (for a great explanation of Type I and Type II see Scott's analogy) since age 10 and had been on the insulin pump for years. In 1991 my father had 7 heart bypasses and in 2000 4 of those were redone. Early in May the doctor had explained to my dad that there was nothing else that they could do, they understood that there were blockages, but they couldn't do another bypass, stints and angioplasty were out of the question at this point as well (he had multiple of both).

My mom said Friday (May 30) he was complaining of a headache and sat on the edge of the bed, he laid over and then instantly started convulsing. She immediately assumed it was diabetic and went to grab his glucagon shot (basically injectable sugar), when she got back she realized it wasn't diabetic and started performing CPR while calling the ambulance. She got no response and neither did anyone else. He was gone. It was a tough week, the toughest being Tuesday night when my mom finally broke down and I just held her as she cried. Thursday (June 5) would have been their 37th anniversary. My father didn't want a service or wake and his desire was to be cremated (a fact he kept teasing my wife with as we're the only ones in the family with a fireplace mantle :)).

We had a celebration on Monday (June 2) of his life and had a decent turn out, many of whom I didn't know as they were my parents friends. However the one request my dad did have was that if we did anything he wanted to make sure that everyone present knew that Jesus "is the way, the truth and the life". The long and the short of it is that while we mourn our loss, and he wasn't perfect, he's in a better place without pain and our lives are richer for knowing him.

Too busy - rant

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:44:02 GMT

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<rant>

I cannot stress how much of a pet peeve this is of mine. The number of times I'm told in a single week, "I'm sorry but I was just too busy...", "I'm too busy", "I'm very busy", "I'm really busy" etc, etc is just ludicrous. And of course this reason (excuse) always comes right after or right before, that person saying they can't or didn't do something.

Now, I'm not saying people aren't busy, in fact I'm saying the opposite. I'm busy too, here's my schedule/responsibilities:

Husband to my wonderful wife
Father to my 4 wonderful kids (ages 2, 4, 10, 15) and one wonderful dog (age 4)
My wife and I home-school our kids (SharedView and IM works wonders)
I have a full time job as a DBPro consultant in Chicagoland at Magenic
Recently was appointed to the Magenic Technology Council
Co-ordinate Magenic's Internal DBPro meetings
Attend church 3 times a week (Sun morn, Sun night and Wed night)
Help with upkeep/repairs at church (Sat morn and throughout week if necessary)
Ensure my eldest daughter can get to and from youth group and church (Fri night)
Attend school (Mon night)
Play basketball (Thurs night)
SQLPASS Member, involved in the DBA SIG

So I'm pretty active, I'm not the busiest person in the world, but I'm not a slacker either. Yet I still find the time to do things that I feel are worthy of my time (like UserGroup meetings, special events, etc). Sure I get backed up sometimes, and sometimes I make decisions that say I can't do something because something else is more important right now.

But what the "I'm too busy" is really saying is it's not a priority right now. And I don't have a problem with that. But stop saying that such and such is a priority and you want to do it, you're just too busy (especially if this has been the mantra for over a month). Because that simply doesn't work, you can't have it both ways. If something is important, get it done, if not, stop saying it is.

We all make time for those things that are important to us.

</rant>

Unplugged and alone = refreshing

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:38:50 GMT

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This week was the first time since the last week of January that I took an hour by myself unplugged. I grabbed some lunch and sat outside to eat and enjoy the weather, no laptop, no cell phone, just me some food and the sun. Every time I do this, I relish the moments. Having 4 kids, my wife and being connected all day through my phone, laptop, home PC and XBOX Live, all of which I enjoy, can also catch up to me.

In fact, at home with our kids we have 2 hours of quiet time every day for them. This is time where all the kids go to their own room with no electronics and they can do anything as long as it doesn't disturb others (i.e., not too loud). They usually end up reading, writing or even some times sleeping. Well as my mom used to say = if it's not good for kids, usually it's not good for adults either, and if it is good for kids, usually it's good for adults too.

I highly recommend for others to do something like this as it is truly is a time of refreshing. So if it's been awhile, turn off all your electronics and go relax by yourself a bit! You won't regret it.

The obligatory about me

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 15:35:30 GMT

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Since I've recently started my blog again I realized I didn't have the obligatory about me post (note: if you ever decided to stop blogging, archive all the content).

My name is Aaron Lowe and I'm a Senior Consultant at Magenic specializing in SQL Server. Magenic is a Microsoft partner and was awarded the Microsoft Worldwide Partner of the Year for Custom Application Development in 2005. Magenic also was in the final 3 for Worldwide Partner of the Year for Data Management solutions this year. Prior to Magenic I worked for the University of Illinois as a SQL Server DBA, managing the Identity Management Databases in the i-Card Department. And prior to that, I worked at Wrox Press before they were liquidated and Wiley acquired them. I'm a member of the Professional Association for SQL Server and part of the DBA Special Interest Group. Last year I was also a member of Business Networking International which I really enjoyed, but couldn't keep up due to my schedule.

I'm a husband and father of 4. My wife and I started homeschooling our children in August 2005. We are also very involved in our local church Faith World Outreach.

What little free time I have left after all that, I spend playing World of Warcraft, my main character is here. I also enjoy chess and go and any stealth game that comes out (Thief, Hitman, Splinter Cell). I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but I'm not much for talking about myself.

I'm back

Thu, 31 May 2007 22:16:43 GMT

Decided to start this up again. I had a live space that I had started last September but I deleted it in December (never should have done that, or at least I should've archived the content). Anyway, decided I wanted to get back on to basically give myself a place to keep a journal.